Learning Opportunity [Private/Zexion]

[Fate]

Your Therapist is But a Nobody

Zexion waited for a moment, waiting for Emi to decide if she wanted to tell him or not. He half-expected her to tell him no, to tell him that he knew enough about her and that he did not need more against her. He had many facts and details about her life already, though they were mostly of the Garden. Anything that happened afterward he did not know, which consisted of most of her life. She would have to trust him before she told him, a hard task to accomplish when you were talking with the Organization's Schemer.

Though, there was a difference in talking to him than any other member of the Organization, excluding a couple of them. He had patience, almost an unlimited amount because of how he did things. He could wait to let things finish and wait for as long as necessary; he refused to rush things. Things needed time, especially when they concerned matters of the heart. It had been far too long since he had a heart, but he remembered its tribulations all too well. He could wait here until Emi felt she was ready to tell him or tell him to vanish; both could easily be done.

She told him to follow her into a smaller area of the library, the piano case becoming closed. He simply nodded his head and followed her through the bookshelves, ones that carried layers upon layers of dust on them. They had not been visited for so long, though Zexion could only imagine why. This was where they played in the library. After she was no longer allowed back in the castle, Ienzo never played anymore and focused just on working for Ansem.

Once they reached the end, or where Emi wished to stop, he kept his arms crossed as she leaned against a bookcase and avoided looking into his eyes. He leaned against the opposite one and waited, his eyes occasionally drifting before she spoke. After words started leaving her lips, he focused again. If he was going to help her, which he said he would, then he would have to pay attention. Naturally, in the end he would still not care. He would feel no sympathy, no pity, no resentment; nothing at all. She most likely already came to terms with that; maybe that was what made it easier.

She had ended up in Twilight Town, a world that he considered quaint and somewhat safe; only somewhat though, for it belied a darker nature that most never knew about. It seemed that everything began well there, which was a good change. Radiant Garden had given her far too much misery. Though, things always change when you meet certain people. She had met a stranger that started things for her, another boy of sorts that had changed her. Though, this one had caused more harm than good. The minute she started describing him, Zexion could begin to foresee the damage the boy would end up doing; he knew exactly how easy and tempting it would have been to manipulate an insecure person at that age.

She had gotten mixed with the wrong crowd in Twilight Town, a very bad one. They had a liking for this alcohol, a substance Zexion had never touched himself. He knew enough about it to understand the damage it could do and why it could be seen as appealing, though the loss of control was something he would not be able to bear. He continued listening to Emi, listening about this man named Kei. He was almost as manipulative as Zexion had imagined him to be, a philanderer of sorts; he liked to be around the company of women both younger and older. Drinks sooner or later became only one of the things this Kei shared with Emi, though she stopped before she told him anymore.

He waited a couple moments before speaking, letting silence take over as he mulled everything over. "He was a manipulator," he mused aloud, though let his thoughts stop there. Emi did not need to hear his thoughts at the moment; it was not the time. "You may continue if you wish. What else did he do?" Zexion could not understand how difficult it would be to lay out facts like this, to lay out one's life and all of the emotional strifes that went with it. Most of his life was spent as a Nobody, a being that had no emotions to trifle with. These were facts to him; nothing more, nothing less.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

"Where have the children gone?
We were innocent once,
but that was so long ago."
- Have We Lost by Flyleaf
--

"What else did he do...[/color]" she murmured. A loaded question even if Zexion didn't know it. A question with many answers, none of which were very nice or charming or that she wanted to talk about.

"There wasn't anything he didn't do,[/color]" she finally answered, barely a whisper. "It started out simple, but then again it always does. But then things got less innocent, not that it ever was to begin with. He took a lot of things from me. You've heard the old saying, there's a first time for everything? Kei was that for me, my first time for everything.[/color]"

Emi pushed off the book case, leaving a cloud of dust in her wake and walked to a nearby window. Avoiding the subject, typical behavior from the girl. She tapped her fingers on the window sill and continued, refusing to cry but losing the battle quickly.

"I was really young and really stupid but that is no excuse. I could have left any time I wanted but I didn't because I was afraid if I did, no one would take me back. I was afraid of being alone. And I was also afraid if I didn't do every last thing Kei asked me to, he would leave. You know, he never told me to do anything, never ordered me. He just asked me in a way I couldn't refuse.[/color]"

She sighed. Ran a hand through her still damp hair. It was beginning to dry and puff back out but right then it actually looked halfway decent and civilized.

"I'll spare you the graphic details and trust me there are plenty. Kei was my first kiss. He took my virginity when I was too young to really even understand what he was asking of me. There's nothing physically I can do that I didn't do with him first. Sorry, that's a little...[/color]" she said, trailing off. She wasn't sure what word she was looking for. She continued with a shake of her head. "He taught me how to destroy myself. He drank, so I drank. He cut himself and he taught me how. He was on drugs, so I was on drugs. I had other 'friends' besides him, and before long I was using and sleeping with them too![/color]"

The last part was shouted. Emi was angry at herself for being so stupid. She had begun to repetitively hit her fist into the wooden window sill. The resulting sound was a muted thump.

"A lot of people say it but I wasn't even myself anymore-[/color]" thump.thump.thump. "-I was high all the time, or drunk. I would come down off the cocaine and sleep for I don't even know how long. And I would wake up needing more. Needing it so bad I was sick-[/color]" thump.thump.thump "But the drugs made me sick too. But I would do anything to get them, even if it meant playing into some cruel game of one of Kei's friends. I did crazy stuff, too. I got arrested like twice for vandalism and some other stuff, like hitting people. Never stayed in jail for long though, Kei came and bailed me out.[/color]" THUMP.THUMP.THUMP."

"It went on like that for two years. I was so messed up. Really really messed up. I left the house I was living in with this young couple who had taken me in to go move in with Kei and his girlfriend. Dropped out of school, piano lessons and just spent all my time playing the drum set and snorting cocaine. My story isn't unique, it's not like it's some new thing. Thousands of other people just like me.[/color]"

She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand before turning to face Zexion again. She knew he wouldn't see her any differently than he had before but it was still hard to look into his eyes. So she didn't. She took the coward's way out and her gaze hit the floor.

[Fate]

Details
"If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it"
(Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz)

Zexion closed his eyes as Emi chose to continue talking, attempting to visualize in his mind what she was saying. He could see Twilight Town clearly and Emi as well, could see her acting the way she described herself. He could not visualize Kei at all, his mind simply producing a dark silhouette-like figure that hung around Emi. Like the darkness had enticed him when he was younger, this Kei figure enticed Emi and utterly destroyed her. He took everything from her that he could, a friend with benefits if Zexion had the term correct.

It all came back to fear, that very thing that ran the lives of many. Emi did not want to be alone. She had been abandoned by her parents and left to live in an orphanage, abandoned by Ienzo essentially because he got scared; she did not want the pattern to repeat, so she clung to this Kei so she would never have to feel that pain again. Unfortunately, that was what brought her down. Zexion felt no pity or sympathy for her; he could not if he tried and he was not about to play pretend.

The images continued to come as she continued to tell him what she did. A couple of them were wince worthy, though he knew that if he had a heart, he would have been more horrified. The wince only came from the remnants of emotions, what he thought he should feel. He forced himself to stop visualizing the images after a certain point, only listening now with his eyes open. It was a self-destructive path that Emi traveled down in Twilight Town, one that still brought her down to this day. Her yell emphasized that, the words she said still slightly echoing on the walls of the library. Zexion remained stationary, only looking at her.

When she finished at long last, the words and details continued to mesh together in Zexion's mind. He absorbed all of it without much effort, clearly not the same effort it took Emi to tell him these things. She had spilled her heart out on the library floor and here he was, just staring back with an empty gaze. He could not help. He could not feel pity, sympathy, rage, disappointment; nothing. All he could do was continue moving forward with that coldness he was known for.

"You are most likely right," he replied, looking at her even though she was looking at the floor. "However, there is something that puzzles me. This is where most of your darkness stems from, or at least it seems. What made you stop?" It was another loaded question. He was always good at asking those sorts of things with people; Riku had been a classic example before.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

"I wanna see miracles... see the world change."
-24 by Switchfoot
--

That was a question Emi had asked herself a million times over. And now she pondered it again there in the library. She held herself like she was cold and turned her back on Zexion again, leaning to press her forehead against the cool glass of the window.

What made you stop?

"To be honest, I really don't know. I woke up one day, from a crash I think and... I don't know. I just wanted to leave. I was tired. By that time I had a really tiny place of my own so I sold everything, packed up and left without telling anyone. After that I just kind of wandered around. It was hard for a while, my body wasn't used to not being on drugs and not drinking. It was a miracle I was able to get out like that, just able to stop. A miracle I didn't die. I don't know how or why but I don't question it. It was just a miracle.[/color]"

It was funny. Even now, sometimes she still woke up in the morning and thought she was still in Twilight Town. Woke up wanting a hit. Though she had to work hard to maintain what little control she had over her emotions, she was blessed with insane amounts of willpower over her addictions. She smiled, though, remembering she still had a pack of cigarettes in her coat pocket.

She withdrew them, looked at them. There were a few missing on her lighter was tucked into the pack. She then tossed them over her shoulder.

"Take them. Get rid of them. I don't need them. I will control my own darkness now. It won't control me anymore.[/color]"

[Fate]

Ready to Begin

It was sheer willpower that had made her stop what she was doing, something that not many people had when they were stuck in the sort of position she had been in. Many people needed to pulled out of it and forced to live a different lifestyle. Emi just chose to do it by herself, even though the road was difficult. It was a wonder to see her still standing today, able to go through with that choice to leave everything behind. Zexion was not one to know of all of the different effects of drugs or alcohol, though he did not imagine them to be pretty. Once the body gets used to having something in it, if it is suddenly withdrawn, it reacts.

Emi finished and tossed him something over her shoulder. He moved to catch the package, catching it in one hand and then studying it. It was a package of what he assumed to be cigarettes, unopened. He raised them up to his eye level to get a closer look, not very sure what he could truly do with them. He supposed he could let the Heartless find them sooner or later and see what happened, though that would look rather odd. For now, he pocketed them inside his cloak, not opening them or studying them any further.

"I will," he told her, a bit of a grin on his face. "Are you ready to create another Corridor?" Her words sounded slightly familiar, reminding him of something. This was what Riku acted like before nearly destroyed him, seemingly self-assured in the darkness and finding strength in it. That was what saved him from Zexion's manipulation in the end, though the difference was that he had help from the witch. Emi did this mostly on her own; he did not help much at all.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

"Dry it up, there's work to do."
--

Emi wiped away the last of her tears and stood up straight.
"Yeah, let's do it,[/color]" she said with a nod. She walked back to the piano bench. It took a few minutes to wind through the aisles between the shelves. She grabbed up the cloak and ran back. As she did so, there was a different spring to her step. She seemed lighter, more relaxed, with out her past weighing her down.

She pulled on the cloak as she ran and now she stood before Zexion, looking for all the world like she belonged in the Organization herself.

One day she would ask him all about the Organization and what they did. More than likely she wouldn't be happy with the answers she received but for now she didn't know and didn't care.

She had a certain glint in her eye. That was a look she got when she was about to do something stupid but highly impressive. She did the same as she did at the entrance of the castle and held out a hand. She closed her eyes and focused. She thought about her old life and Kei and all the things he'd done to her, focused all of that into the palm of her hand and willed the corridor to appear. By learning to control that dark side of her heart, she was beginning to master the art of summoning the portals.

To Zexion's surprise (she was sure), the Corridor of Darkness appeared, announce by its usual sound. Emi cracked open one eye smirked haugtily.

--
Report: Emi used Corridors of Darkness
Passive use
5 posts to next use

[Fate]

The Darkness Appears

He nodded to Emi and watched as she ran back to the piano bench, simply waiting as he continued to lean on on the bookcase. He only stopped leaning only when she returned. She was wearing the cloak now, the very cloak that he had given her that if found with Emi, could mark him as a traitor. It was a bit short on her, though that was to be expected when the Schemer was about half a foot shorter than her. None of that was either here or there, however.

This was the test now, or at least that is what Zexion saw. It was now time to see if she truly had control over that darkness and if she was able to form a Corridor of Darkness. He waited as she held out her arm to summon one, watching the area where her hand was pointed for a moment. A sound was made and the Corridor of Darkness appeared in front of him before his very eyes, slightly to his surprise. It looked exactly as it was supposed to; she had done it.

"Exactly," he said, nodding his head in approval. "This is what they are supposed to resemble. At first, they will not lead you very far. It takes practice to be able to go between worlds with them. It is easier to start with short distances to get the hang of them." The Nobodies even had difficulty with them at first, apart from Xigbar. Each one had to work with the Corridors of Darkness and learn how to use them before traveling to other worlds with them. It did not take much time for the Nobodies to get a hang of it, but it would take time for Emi because she had a heart.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

"Ready, steady..."
--

"Short distances, got it,[/color]" she chirped before running headlong into the corridor. She tumbled back out again a few feet away and a few seconds later and screamed. She screamed, the corridor closed behind her and she almost ran into the wall but stopped herself at the last second. She turned around to stare at Zexion with a very serious look on her face. "It's not funny you know,[/color]" she started, but then she trailed off.

She kept forgetting. It wasn't funny to him, was it? She chewed on her lip, unsettled. How strange it must be, not to find anything sad or irritating or funny. What was even stranger is that she was able to stand being around Zexion now when they were such opposites. He felt nothing; she felt too much. Even when they were younger though, that was the case. Opposites attract, she figured and leaned against the wall.

"I feel weird and tired again. But that's normal right?[/color]"

She gripped the cuff of the cloak, suddenly alarmed. Opening these corridors obviously took something out of her, but what? Maybe, hopefully something that could be replaced.

[Fate]

The Suspicious Schemer Remains Stationary

The run though the Corridor of Darkness was a success, though how she did it was rather amusing. Zexion let a small smile sneak up on his face again to show the remnant of amusement. Though, he apparently was not supposed to find it funny, or so he was told by Emi. Her words then trailed off for one reason or another, her sentence remaining unfinished. His face went back to being blank once more, the two standing opposite of each other just as they always had; Ienzo, the quiet emotionless boy, and Emi, the loud girl full of emotions.

"It is normal, yes," he replied, "For those with hearts, it drains a bit of energy to use. It will take some getting used to, undoubtedly." His main objectives for coming back to Radiant Garden were complete now; Emi had learned how to use the Corridors of Darkness and he had found Maleficent still alive and hiding inside the castle. It would be a bit of information that would be useful to the Organization, that was for sure. He needed to make every bit of information he had to give to Superior worthwhile lest he be thought of as suspicious.

"Once you are able to use them more often, they will be very useful for traveling from world to world, as you know. However, I would not recommend visiting the World that Never Was again now that you know where it is. The rest of the members of the Organization are not so keen on visitors in the castle and are not as kind as I am." Zexion had a knack for manipulating anyone he saw fit, which was cruel, but he refused to fight them. Xaldin would embed a lance in one's skull as soon as one crossed his line of sight. It would be very dangerous for Emi to show up in the Nobody Realm again; dangerous for her but also dangerous for his reputation.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

"I think they lost something that they miss. I want to find that book, dust it off and read it again. There was hope in the end..."
- Have We Lost by Flyleaf
--

Emi looked at the floor again. She realized what he was doing. He was, in a roundabout way, saying his good-byes. And, warning her not to try and come to find him. He was going to leave again. She didn't allow herself to wilt this time, however. If it was anything like the last two times, they would find each other again. Emi wasn't usually one for talk of destinies, light and darkness and hearts... but today it was just one of those days. Melodrama all around. Things had happened between them. Very interesting things. No matter if either one of them liked it or not, they were connected now. No matter if one of them didn't have a heart.

"I'll be around. If you need me.[/color]"
Mentally, she slapped herself in the face. If you need me. Honestly, what kind of mindless drivel was that? As if he needed her, and vice versa. She flushed. "Well, you know what I mean. It's not like I can go anywhere. Yet,[/color]" she muttered.

She was kind of disappointed that he had told her not to go back to the World That Never Was. That must have been the place she followed him to, the room she'd woken up in. Pity. She had kind of wanted to figure out what the deal with that was. She would ask him sometime but now was not the time.

Of course, she wouldn't be without things to do. She couldn't live in the castle library and had to see about securing a place to stay and a steady income. She was a big girl now, no running back to Kagabu with a skinned knee. Besides, Kagabu was gone and Heartless had taken her place.

Emi stared at her feet and waited for him to leave.

[Fate]

Brave
"We were braver still when we were young"
(Have We Lost by Flyleaf)

She caught what he was doing before he even had the chance to say any final farewells. She was beginning to remind him of Lexaeus, the man who almost always knew what his thoughts were and could almost tell what he would do next. He could tell by her eyes going back to the floor that she was not exactly pleased with him leaving her yet again. It was a pattern they had now developed: he would leave her, but sooner or later find himself running into her once again. Whether he liked it or not, he had now made a connection; his meddling always got him in trouble didn't it?

"I will be back," he told her, "Alas, you may be cursed to never be able to get rid of me. I will return to this world at some point; I do not predict I will be remaining in the World that Never Was for too long." It was a true statement; if things continued to progress as they were, he doubted he could remain inside of the Nobody realm. It would cost him dearly of course, but he was not sure he could remain loyal to the Superior if he did as he thought he would. He had his own goals in mind and he was going to achieve them someway, somehow.

"Do be careful," he told her, "And continue to practice with the Corridors of Darkness." As he said that, he opened one next to himself with a simple hand gesture. "And if you do happen upon Maleficent, be sure to give her the Organization's regards. I am sure she will appreciate it." Naturally, his words were laced with sarcasm. He then brought his gaze upon Emi one last time before backing into the darkness to return to the World that Never Was. "Farewell Emiline." With that, he was gone, the Corridor of Darkness disappearing shortly after he did.

[/size]

[Oathkeeper Emi]

Chopin Prelude No. 15 'Raindrop'
--

Emiline.

By god, how long had it been since she'd been called THAT name? Most people didn't even know that WAS her name. In Twilight Town, only the social work people and police officers called her that and always in tandem with her last name- the pronunciation of which had been butchered in so many ways it was almost comical. That had been the first time she'd even heard her own full name in a long time, and that is what broke her down.

As soon as she was sure he was gone, she allowed a single choked up sob to escape. And then another. She pressed the heels of her hands against her brow and calmed herself. With a shaky sigh, she removed her hands from her face, shook them and made her way back to the piano.

She would have to open a corridor to get out of the castle anyway, and she didn't want to push it. So, to kill time she sat once again at the piano, removed the cloak and jacket to free up her arms a little and opened the case. As a bonus, playing the piano was relaxing to her, gave her something else to dwell on for a while.

She set her hands on the keys and began to play.
More Chopin.