Dunes of Death

[Axel]

I'd rather leave work at work.
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Lillian's question was more complicated than she probably thought it was. It was difficult to describe exactly what he did. And Axel still wasn't sure if he should drop the bomb that he was a Nobody. Elrick hadn't mentioned anything to her about it, so maybe that meant it was a bad idea.

How to answer the question, then? "Oh, me? I just do odd jobs here and there. Nothing too exciting." Truthfully, nothing he did was very exciting, seeing as he wasn't capable of feeling that emotion. She didn't have to know that, though. "Work has me traveling quite a bit."

He took another sip of his drink, swirling the liquid around on his tongue, savoring it before finally swallowing it. Thank Kingdom Hearts being a Nobody didn't mean you also lost your sense of taste. All that ice cream would have been decidedly duller.

[Lagunamov]

We need costumes. NOW.

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”If you are a waitress, how come you aren’t wearing one of those white and black outfits? Oh no wait, those are maids…” Elrick’s mind rambled on as he drank from his glass, the deadly combination starting to affect him already. Or it was a placebo effect, but either way, he was glad he was already sitting. That would keep him from making a fool out of himself the moment his knees gave out and he tripped.

”Wonder if odd jobs mean ‘terrorizing the worlds’ or something cool like that. The black coat certainly fits the description of someone doing that. Then again, now we have charcoal skin messing up things for all of us, so… maybe pizza deliveries?” and there he started to mumble things aloud, not realizing the other two could actually hear his thoughts. Still, the idea of Axel in a pizza delivery outfit, wearing a red cap with a pizza slice on the front was amusing enough.

If two months ago someone had told Elrick that he’d be spending his days drunk, he wouldn’t have believed him. Something needed to be done in a world with nothing to in order to cope with the lack of things to kills, though; and the previous time was a birthday, so it was socially acceptable. “Why can’t even a scuba diver come out of the ocean so I have something to hit? Never thought I’d miss Shadows…” he went of again. Thankfully he still hadn’t reached the point were he started seeing pink talking elephants in a top hat.

"Waitress!" Elrick's mind went off in a tangent, probably a bad one considering he was addressing Lillian. "Fetch us some frosty beers and fancy outfits!" he proclaimed as he raised his arm into the air, holding the empty glass that previously contained whatever had drove him into asking for costumes.

[Fate]

-Make it interesting boys.-

More small talk. Axel traveled a lot and did boring stuff. And then Elrick rambled about terrorizing the world, pizza deliveries and hitting scuba divers. Part of her wondered if she should be worried about what exactly went on in his head and if this was a regular thing. Either way, she couldn't help but find it kind of amusing. She couldn't quite picture Redhead delivering pizzas throughout the galaxy. That would be an interesting job though; she couldn't say she would mind delivering pizzas... if she could cook. That was probably necessary.

Oh, so now he was calling her a waitress and demanding more drinks... and fancy outfits. What next, a pipe and massage? She almost said that, but decided to keep that one to herself; she was starting to learn never to give Elrick ideas. She walked over to him and grabbed his glass along with Axel's whether or not he was actually finished with it. "Yes, your royal highness," she mocked, "But whatever I bring you, you have to wear. Both of you. No refunds."

She left the two with that, now on a quest to get the most ridiculous outfits possible. It didn't take her that long to find any either, which wasn't a surprise. She went back to the bartender straight after that, who gave her another questionable look before handing over three frosty beers. It was easy to tell she had a buzz already and this was just going to make it worse. She walked away with drinks and outfits in hand, the glasses clanking as she kept a firm grip on all of them in one hand.

Once she arrived back at the beach, she dumped one outfit on each of their heads, not really caring if they objected or not. "Your fancy outfits, sir. I will hold your beers for you in the meantime." Deciding to join in the fun, she had her own French maid outfit, heels, stockings, short skirt and all. May she never have to wear this again.

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[Lagunamov]

Unlike the real one though, I'm straight as an arrow.

[/center][/i]

”Oh, I’m royalty now. What a lovely promotion. And still I’m sitting in the sand with water on my feet,” he somehow managed to think for himself as he handed over his empty glass, taking notice of Lillian simply grabbing Axel’s despite not checking whether its contents were already gone or not. Oh well, he was getting free drinks, his right to complain was non-existent. Much like himself. On the bright side –if it could be called that-, she was going to bring them outfits, though she refused to take orders for that. Lovely. If he had to dress in a ballerina outfit he would make her pay somehow. Probably by having her wear it right after.

For the few minutes that she was gone, Elrick simply laid on his back on the sand, enjoying the sun and the fact that this particular body of sand or sun wouldn’t burn his skin off. He almost even drifted of into sleep, but remained awake by the light on the other side of his closed eye lids. Hearing someone walking towards them, most likely the waitress, he opened his eyes again and if he hadn’t been on the ground already, there would have been a loud thud coming from his jaw dropping. ”Crap, lady can read my mind… Wow that’s one short skirt… Uhh, I mean… Hi Lillian!” he thought nervously as she approached, making sure to sit up straight before she reached them, otherwise she might get the idea that he was trying to sneak a peek from below. And those heels looked like they’d hurt if she decided to stomp him on his face. Or somewhere else further down his body.

He was then handed his ‘fancy outfit’, which consisted of a ridiculous long green coat with white stripes on his arms and shoulders, details that looked like weeds on the chest, a red cape with gold trimming and a red beret. To top it of, a fake beard was included. “Ok, I’m game,” he stood up, and rejecting the brown pants that came with the costume, he put on the rest of it, attaching every single extra detail. Including the beard. And he was now literally in hell: the heat in that thing was unbearable. “So, how do I look?” he teasingly asked as he took his beer from Lillian’s hand and started drinking it as he moved below the parasol and sat at the chair there. The shadow and frosty drink were certainly welcomed.

[Axel]

Murder me, Elrick.
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After having his drink so rudely snatched away, Axel was ready to kick sand in Lillian's face. He hadn't finished yet! But there was the promise that she would return with frosty beers as Elrick had asked. The thought of costumes, though, was not as appealing.

Luckily, Lillian soon returned with fresh drinks... and an outfit change. Elrick looked like he was about to explode. For a second, the Flame thought he might have to mop Elrick off the sand. Which would have been tricky to do. Yep.

Clothes were dumped into his lap, and Axel arched an eyebrow. What the hell were these? Ruffles? And velvet? Was Lillian secretly trying to kill him? Ah, what the hell? Might as well. He was just about buzzed enough to start not caring more than he usually didn't.

After throwing the frilly dress robes on, Axel immediately wanted to take them off. These were even more smothering than the Organization cloak in this heat.

"...You have terrible fashion sense, you know that?" Not that he claimed to have much of his own, but at least he knew not to wear heavy velvet robes to the beach.

Following Elrick's example, he snatched his own beer from Lillian and plopped down in a chair beneath the shade of an umbrella.

[Fate]

-Awkward Zone defeated.-

Oh, they all just looked fabulous with these clothes!... Well, Elrick at least was able to look the part without looking completely stupid. The robe didn't flatter Axel at all except for maybe his hair... wait, nope. The frillyness of it all made it look absolutely horrendous. Quite honestly, she didn't look the part of the maid either nor did she like it. Damn heels hurt like hell; how did anyone walk in these things, much less clean? Eh, either way, now they all looked ridiculous and had beer. That made the day somewhat better.

"Yeah, I know," she said to Axel, "I thought it would flatter your hair, but it kind of doesn't. At least Elrick looks... sort of normal?" She wasn't going to try with that one. She sat down under the parasol as well and sipped her beer. The only thing left to figure out was how long they had to stay looking like this and what was going to happen next. All she knew was that she wasn't getting up again. That would be His Majesty's department now.

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[Lagunamov]

I wont’ hear the end of this, I just know it.

[/center][/i]

It seemed that Elrick would be joined in the ‘boiling to hell in this outfit’ department. Incredibly so, Axel’s costume appeared even more suffocating than his, if that was even possible. It was clear now that this was Lillian’s revenge… over something. It didn’t matter what, she clearly was having revenge on them for something. For what other reason would she bring them costumes that wouldn’t let their bodies breath at the beach while she wore one very much breathable. It certainly showed more skin that theirs, which at least made the whole ordeal a little more bearable. On Elrick, Axel seemed more interested in blondes for some reason.

Of course, Axel’s outfit was the most ridiculous of the three, followed shortly by Elrick’s. Though, his fake beard was making it uncomfortable to drink his beer, forcing him to pull it down a bit whenever he took a sip from it. The only reason he didn’t remove it was… well, he had no idea. He’d probably end up growing one once older at this rate. “How do I look normal? I look like some half assed invertor/paintor/architect from the middle ages,” he joked around, taking a sip from his cold drink to survive the heat. “And Axel looks like road kill. At least you can make some extra money with yours Lillian,” the thought slipped out, Elrick almost preparing himself to receive a beating in response.

[Fate]

-What happens here stays here.-

Well great, they were back to where they started: roasting to death. Admittedly, she wasn't roasting quite as much as Redhead and newly labeled Renaissance Man, but she hadn't done that quite on purpose. With them actually wearing the outfits now, she realized that they were both bad ideas. It didn't help that the store was cooler than out here when she went to go get them and that her mental capacity was compromised. Oh well. They had beer now. That always made everything better.

Taking a second look at Elrick, she realized that what he said was right. "Then... uh... you look normal for the middle ages then. The beard sorta suits you." She tilted her head to the side to get a different angle on it. That didn't really do anything though, so she went back to sipping her bear bit by bit. Axel did look sort of like road kill now that he mentioned it... poor guy. She should have picked out something better for him instead of that ugly velvet thing. Eh, he could get revenge on her later if he really wanted to. Though, wearing this ugly, froo-froo thing was bad enough. And heels. Heels were now her sworn enemy.

It took until after she had finished her beer when she registered Elrick's other comment. If she had been sober, that might have earned him a slap in the face. However, she was not, so she didn't. Instead, she looked at him and thought for a second. "I could use the extra money too. Buying you people drinks and outfits is costing me. Especially you." She pointed at Elrick as she said that, though it would take another drunk person to actually take her seriously with her glazed over look and whatnot.

Though, earning money couldn't be done right now. That would mean leaving these two to sit here and roast by themselves. It would also require getting up, which she wasn't completely sure if she could do at the moment, or if she wanted to. To make up for that, she took Elrick's hat and put it on, taking off the little bonnet-thing and putting it on the table. "There, now you look less like a half-assed painter... inventor... whatever the hell you said."

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[Lagunamov]

I just hope she doesn't start kicking or something.

[/i][/center]

Lillian wasn’t hitting him for that comment? Yeah, that was sign enough to tell she was drunk enough not to be able to stand up. Take his red beret and put on, sure, but stand up or muster the strength to punch him in the face? Certainly not. Elrick still had some leg strength left, so he stood up and walked behind Lillian. “I think we better go before we pass out and dehydrate here on the beach. If I go, I’d rather go in a less… humiliating outfit,” he joked while he slowly dragged Lillian’s chair backwards, and before she could even say anything, she picked her up by the waist and threw her over his right shoulder. Presumably exposing everything under the skirt to everyone but him. The irony.

“Axel, we’ll see you when we see you. Hopefully somewhere with no sand,” he waved at the red haired guy with his free hand before turning around and leaving; though not before picking up his and Lillian’s stuff from the chairs around. As he walked out of the beach, he couldn’t help but immediately notice the heat once more. “I should have probably changed before leaving the shadow," he commented to no one in particular, despite Lillian being right there, her head probably hanging right in front of his buttocks. And ironically, she probably had a better view of his than he did of hers, since that damn skirt was getting on the right side of his face.

[Fate]

-Get drunk: check. Wear fancy outfit: check. Lose remaining dignity: check.-

_{*Warning: swearing and stuff.}

Yeah, dehydrating wasn't a good thing. That outfit was only making that worse for Elrick and Axel, not for her. It was probably better that they went back to their ships, slept, and then did who knows what tomorrow. Maybe they could actually, you know, do something of importance instead of drinking-- not that she minded sitting and relaxing once in a while. They couldn't keep stopping at worlds just to do this.

Before she even got to make the decision to get up, Elrick made that decision. She yelped as she was thrown over his shoulder, now unable to move. It wasn't that she minded being carried, though a warning would have been nice. No, she was wearing a freaking skirt and was now exposed. And she couldn't muster up the ability to defy gravity and try and pull her skirt down. "Thank you Elrick," she thought to herself, "Thank you so much for being a fucking ass." More obscenities were, of course, included as well as a knee to the stomach.

"Yes, see you later Axel," she said once she was turned around, keeping her tone of voice polite, "Sorry about the outfit. Good luck and all that jazz." Once the two were away, she dropped the act. "Okay, you can stop being an ass now and drop me. Right now. Right. Fucking. Now." To try and make this happen sooner, she pounded on his back. He was secretly enjoying doing this to her wasn't he? He probably got a decent view too. She couldn't say she liked the one she was getting. She'd get him for this. Sooner or later, she would.

[/size]

[Axel]

Note to self: Never wear velvet again. NEVER.
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And they were gone in a very awkward fashion. Lillian didn't seem too happy about her method of transport, but Axel couldn't say he blamed Elrick for treating her that way. Look at what she'd brought them to wear, after all.

Speaking of suffocating in horrendous clothing, Axel wasted no time in yanking off the velvety monstrosity. He hurled it into the shallows of the ocean and watched it drift out to sea. Good riddance.

Hm. What to do now? First things first, he polished off the remainder of his drink. This experience was nothing like drinking with Luxord. At most, the Flame was slightly buzzed right now.

Thoughts of Luxord drew his mind back to more serious matters. Rejoining the Organization didn't mean a thing, right? He could still do whatever the hell he wanted. At least, he should be able to.

The beach was boring now, so Axel stood, retrieved his discarded cloak and boots, and summoned a Corridor to take him elsewhere.