Fate's Creative Dump

[Fate]

Here is where all of my creative things go! I mainly write poetry and stories, though I do have some music as well. I'll show off some of pieces.

These are William Blake pieces. These were inspired from Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience, written for my British Literature class last Spring. They are written with a similar meter to "Garden of Love".

[From the Innocence perspective]

I went outside and played today
On the big swing in the meadow
I flew higher than e’er before
Along with a sparrow and crow

With great joy I flew over the land
Over the blossoming roses red
Without a thought or care in the world
Everything living, nothing dead


[From the Experience perspective]

I went to visit the meadow
To revisit my days of play
The meadow I knew was now gone
All that I knew had gone astray

Fences were built around the meadow
The flowers no longer smelled sweet
And then I turned and was struck aghast
Weight was tied to the sparrow’s feet

Then I walked to the meadow’s edge
My swing lay broken in the midst
On the ground next to a large cliff
“Only if you dare to be without a care”

--

This piece is a Dramatic Monologue that I also had to write for British Literature. However, I had a poem already by this name and decided to play with the same idea and whatnot. This is probably my favorite piece ever written.

Piano
Softly

Barren stage and curtains so tightly drawn,
There are papers strewn here and there, mismatched.
Forgotten music no one wants to play;
A grand piano still remains as well,
I can't help but wander over to it.
Hands meander over eight-eight keys,
I can tell you I am no Beethoven.
A soft note sounds, the string resonating,
I think it was trying to entice me.
It told me to play more, so I listened.
The sound lingered and filled the empty stage,
I did not hear you follow after me.
Staccatos quickly turned into legatos,
The air was pregnant with melancholy.
You stand by, listening to this sad song.
I tried to play softly, my hands defied,
They played louder, filling your patient ears.
Every phrase dramatic and exposing.
Why were you compelled to follow me here?
Why are you bothering with this musician?
The notes soften as they begin to fade.
My hands slip away and fall to my sides.
My fingers are sore and my head as well.
My clap idly, trying to humor me,
The woes of a pianist pass you by.
I know that I should not have touched the keys,
The keys on your prized and grandiose piano.
It's after dark and I should not have come.
I can't read your bewildered face.
Is it confused? Mad? I can't place it.
I start to slink away, my cheeks reddened,
With paths of tears I can't recall having.
A melody still lingers in my ears,
One that I will not get to play again.
Alas, I shouldn't have touched that piano.
Melancholic musings should not be played.

--

This just a musing I had one day; someday I might extrapolate on it.

Misery loves company and it keeps dragging me down,
And has me dancing in a flowing gown.
It always leads and I'm doomed to follow,
Until I'm nothing more than bitter and hollow.

--

Tell me what you think!

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[Fate]

All right, so I had a little bit of inspiration before/during Western Civilization today, so I wrote up this little piece. It's sort of a work in progress and I might improve upon it later. I'd like to see maybe some constructive criticism of this and maybe of the other works I posted.

Listless
Working Title

It's ten in the morning on a crisp autumn day,
Sort like those days we used to spend together,
But you're not here next to me. The room is empty.

Months have gone by since;
Photographs tell me what you look like,
How you've changed and how you don't smile anymore.
Phone calls tell me what you voice sounds like,
You hold yourself back so neither of us cry,
Whispers of love woven through radio waves.

I forget how my hand fits in yours,
How you used to hold it with fingers interlaced.
I forget the warmth you used to bring
When you held me, the closeness we had.
Now all I have is an empty room.
All of the warmth is gone, leaving me listless.

--

As you can tell, I wrote this in completely blank verse as opposed to my typical love of rhyming. I also threw in a little bit of alliteration just because I felt like it. The poem doesn't really have a sense of closure to me, but in this case, I'm thinking that it doesn't need it; the poem is pretty much about not having closure, so... yeah.

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[Aerith]

The Blake pieces: Love, love, love this pair. Of course, I think Blake writes some amazing stuff, so modeling poetry after his is a bonus in my book. The contrast between the two is perfect, and I especially love the imagery of an innocent child swinging over the meadow without a care in the world, still possessing the large imagination that often disappears when we become adults. Plus, the swing is a wonderful image of freedom, which is contrasted with the fences in the second part. Freedom vs. captivity. Captivity to obligations, responsibilities, etc. I can't say enough about these two, and I can tell I'm starting to ramble, so I'll stop. xD

Piano: Since this was a dramatic monologue, there's no rhyming, which works for this piece. I'm not as experienced with writing dramatic monologues, so I'm going to approach this from the perspective of someone who has written a good many free-verse poems. I noticed you like to end every line with some form of punctuation, but sometimes, that may not always be in the poem's best interest. Perhaps not in the case of this dramatic monologue, but in later poems, you could experiment with breaking lines in unconventional places and not including punctuation at the end of every line. All of your lines also don't need to be the same length in poetry without any meter, so sometimes, giving one word its own single line can add tons of emotional/dramatic kick.

That being said, the emotion in this piece is already poignant, and being a musician myself, I love the musical imagery. It seems like there's a bigger story here, and I'd love to see other pieces extrapolating on the events surrounding this particular moment you've captured.

I like your monologue much better than Xemmy's monologues. xD

Listless: Okay, I said Piano had plenty of emotion, but this one just blows me away. I can definitely feel the sadness in every line (my favorite of which is "Whispers of love woven through radio waves"; the alliteration just adds to the musicality of the line). Normally, I might suggest being a little more subtle with your choice of words and images, but I don't think this poem needs that. It's hard-hitting and memorable, and I like that.

And I agree that the poem has no closure but doesn't need it. However, I think a second, companion poem could be written later, perhaps describing reunion. That would be the closure you're looking for.

Sorry about the length and the probable rambling that occurred. xD But I got on a roll. And you gave me a lot to talk about.