Time to Mend [Aerith/Cloud]

[Aerith]

A Walk into the Night
Aerith's Theme (Piano Version) by Nobuo Uematsu

Sleeplessness was to be expected. Try as she might, Aerith could not dispel the words of the mysterious attacker long enough for the sigh of the night breeze to sing her to her dreams. Radiant Garden was especially quiet tonight, as though it were withdrawing into itself to recover from the blows it had been dealt. A feeling of powerlessness settled over her, and she shifted beneath her sheets, the smooth silkiness of them doing little to assuage her fears. It would only take time to rebuild the destroyed town, most specifically the marketplace. But what of her friends? Would they also heal in time?

She was losing this wrestling match with her thoughts, and she knew sleep would continue to elude her. Abandoning the warmth of the sheets, she rose from her bed and slipped into a long, simple robe, a soft solid pink in color. After cinching the belt around her waist and slipping into her boots, she wandered out into the hall of the Borough. Avoiding known creaky floorboards, she walked past the doors of her friends' rooms but paused for a moment outside of Cloud's. She considered knocking to see if he was still awake, but she didn't want to disturb him if he had been able to get to sleep. Soon, though, she needed to talk to him, to make sure that he had been telling the truth when he had told Leon he would stay. Promises to stay from Cloud were tenuous at best. At least, they had been in her past experiences. For now, she would leave him alone and hope that she wouldn't have to force a conversation later.

Soon, the night air was in her lungs as she breathed deeply of it outside the Borough. It was still refreshing and did not feel any different. Not that she thought even the air itself could be tainted by the darkness, of course. But the figure's words had all of them on edge, she suspected. Even though she had not been touched by any of those attacks, she still worried for her friends. Thoughts of them filled her head as she walked to the marketplace to assess the damage for herself.

Rubble littered the area. Whole buildings were smashed to pieces, piles of splintered wood and broken stone strewn about like the entrails of gutted animals. It was a huge mess and one that would take quite a long time and effort to clean up and repair. But she knew the Restoration Committee was up to the challenge. She picked her way among the debris and finally decided to sit on a large chunk of stone. The stars overhead cast everything in a soft, silver glow, which comforted her somewhat. As long as she wasn't fighting sleep, she would probably stay here, sifting through her thoughts and enjoying the coolness of the night air.

[Cloud]

Hello

Cloud stood in a small nook behind the market. Or at least, what had once been the market. Now it lay in complete ruins, hardly more than a very large pile of ruble. All of the Restoration Committee's hard efforts set so far back. Then again, it wasn't really the buildings that were bothering him, was it? They could all be rebuilt in time, there was no question about that. What was really getting to him were the mans words, and how he said they had all been tainted by the darkness. In reality, he had already been pretty tainted to begin with. So what, now it was even worse? If so, how long would it really be until he lost control of the darkness? Who knew...

Turning his head around, he began staring at the remains of a once magnificent castle. It loomed in the middle of what used to be the most breathtaking and beautiful world ever. With it's elegant fountains, and it's green trees, and colorful flowers, and it's white walls and streets and town squares, and the sparkling lake that matched the equally amazing sky. But all of that was just a far off memory at this point. It hardly seemed like anything more than a scattered dream. The town was nothing but a ghost of what it had once been. No longer did the fountains flow or the flowers bloom. The stones were no longer white, but grey and cracked. Where a lake had been long ago, there was only dry blue stone.

The darkness was responsible for what had happened to Radiant Garden. It had twisted and contorted the spectacular utopia into a baron wasteland. It had turned something so beautiful and perfect into something so gloomy and depressing. Cloud had never even been nearly perfect. After seeing what the darkness had done to his world, how could he expect any different a fate for himself? He had fought and resisted for so long, but where had that honestly gotten him? Maybe resistance was futile. Maybe it would just be easier for for everyone if he gave up. Not just himself, but his friends too. They didn't need to have him to worry about of the time.

Pushing off from the small stone wall that he had been leaning on, Cloud started to walk. Whether he couldn't sleep, or just wouldn't sleep, he had no intention of returning to the Borough yet. Still, a change of scenery would be nice. Maybe he would go to that crystal cave; the destination didn't truly matter. He just wanted to go somewhere. As he walked back into the Marketplace, he saw a figure standing about twenty feet away from him. "Aerith?" he called out in a slightly unsure tone. It was a pretty dark night, but with the light there was he thought he recognized the person. As he moved closer, it became for obvious that it was exactly who he had suspected it to be. "What are you doing out here?"

[Aerith]

How Are You?

She had not expected to hear anyone's voice, much less Cloud's, call out to her. She wondered if he had been out here all along or if he had followed her. That didn't matter, though. He was here, and it seemed like he wanted to talk. She wouldn't pass up this opportunity to see how he was feeling, if she could.

Without getting up from her seat on her piece of stone, Aerith turned to face Cloud with a smile. From the looks of him, it didn't look like he had been to bed yet. Even in the dark, she could see faint lines of worry on his forehead and around the corners of his eyes. She quelled her own personal fears and decided to try her best to make him feel better.

"Oh, I just needed some fresh air. And I thought I would come out here to see what exactly needs to be done when we start rebuilding." She wouldn't tell him about her sleeplessness and her own worries. Not now. She admitted to herself that that was a little hypocritical of her, considering that she constantly wished Cloud would be more open with her. But she didn't want to place any more burdens on him than he already carried. Patting the stone next to her, she asked, "Do you want to sit down and tell me what brings you out here at this time of night?"

[Cloud]

Well...

As Cloud reached Aerith, she met his solemn look with a pleasant smile. That was just like her, always putting on a happy face even in the most dire of circumstances. It was one of her many great traits, and one that he really wished he could have. Unfortunately, things weren't usually that simple for him. He tended to have a lot to frown about. But still, despite her pleasant expression and her casual words, he had a feeling she wasn't as carefree as she may have seemed. Why would she choose the middle of the night of all times to survey the damage? For a moment, he considered trying to comfort her, but who was he kidding? How could he of all people comfort her? Like always, he was a mental mess, and probably wouldn't even be able to think of one positive thing to say if he tried.

Seeing her motion then ask him to sit down next to her, he reluctantly did so. The sitting itself wasn't really what he was reluctant to do, but rather the other thing she had asked if he wanted to do. "I was just... thinking." he replied simply, not looking directly at her as he talked. It was most likely for the best that he kept it simple, and didn't go into too much detail. The last thing he need to do was worry her with all of his worrisome thinking. Especially since she appeared to already have plenty to worry about as it was. "You probably wouldn't want her too much about it though."

[Aerith]

There's No Reason for Fear

Cloud had accepted her invitation to sit. That was good. But it seemed as though he wasn't going to be so compliant with her other request. She had expected this, however. Asking Cloud to talk about his thoughts and feelings was like asking a mountain to fall into the sea. Unwilling to pressure him, Aerith put her hands on either side of her and leaned back on them to better look up at the sky. "It's so peaceful tonight, isn't it? Strange...considering everything that happened today."

The observation was not without evidence. Even this late at night, the town usually had a few people still milling about, stocking stores or sharing stories under the tranquility of nightfall. Yet, there did not appear to be a single soul wandering the streets. Aerith could understand why, though. The streets were more like an obstacle course now, making navigation a difficult prospect. The lack of activity made for easier contemplation, but Aerith wasn't sure if that was good or bad right now.

Still tilting back to look at the sky, she turned her head to settle her green eyes on Cloud. "I always want to hear about anything you're thinking about. You don't have to be afraid to share with me. I don't bite." She laughed softly and smiled, hoping that he might relax a little.

[Cloud]

Sure There Is

Following Aerith in doing so, Cloud leaned back and looked up. The gleaming stars caused the the black sky to appear as more of a dark navy. "Yeah, it is..." he said, answering her question. Everything did seem strangely peaceful. There were so many stars: hundreds-- maybe even thousands. Way too many to count, that was for sure. It was hard to believe that each tiny glint was really another world. From there, they all appeared happy enough. But then again, Radiant Garden probably didn't look much different from a similar distance. All of the other worlds probably had their own problems that they were currently dealing with, whether they were all as drastic or not.

As she began to talk again, Cloud could feel Aerith staring straight at him. He lowered his eyes from the sky to the ground, and then very slowly back up to meet kind green eyes that were clearly waiting for a response from him. Whether she really wanted to hear about what was on his mind or not, it was hard to say. She might have just trying to be nice, like she typically did. Either way though, her request was pretty blatant, and he didn't exactly want to refuse it. Bottling everything up inside of himself had never really done him much good in the past.

He closed his eyes. "I'm sure you can guess what's bothering me." It wasn't as if it was a very difficult thing to guess. Chances were, the same thing that was on his mind, was on most of his friends mind. At least to some extent. "The man. What he did... What he said... Some people weren't buying what he had to say, but..." Shaking his head, he sighed, before opening his eyes to look back at Aerith. "Do you think he was lying?" To be honest, Cloud couldn't help but think the words to be true. What he really wanted was for her to tell him otherwise.

[Aerith]

Look at the Stars. Look How They Shine for You.
Yellow by Coldplay

Cloud leaned back to match her current position, and they stared up at the stars together, not saying anything for a few moments. Wonderful, tranquil moments. Aerith had hated to break that spell, but she needed to let him know that she wanted him to be open with her. She watched him close his eyes. Yes, she could easily guess what fears burdened his heart, but she wanted him to tell her himself.

To her surprise, he did voice his thoughts, and her heart ached a little at the way he looked at her. She couldn't stand to see any of her friends in pain, but Cloud...Cloud was on another level altogether. She knew how haunted he was by his inner darkness and how much of a struggle it was for him to control it. The others might also have inner darkness to battle, but she was sure their darkness had never physically manifested the way Cloud's did. Images of the long silver-haired swordsman floated briefly to the surface of her memory. Sephiroth. If the mysterious man's words had been true, then Cloud's darkness would grow and would in all likelihood birth anew the bane of his existence. And the presence of Sephiroth threatened more than just Cloud. Though, she knew that Cloud wasn't afraid of dying. He was afraid of not being who he truly was, and the darkness in him would potentially hinder him.

She didn't answer Cloud's question at first, at least not directly. Instead, she moved one of her hands to rest on top of his, just long enough to reassure him. Then, she stood and walked a few paces forward, stopped, then turned around to face him again. “I have a question for you.” She clutched her robe tighter together in her hands, trying to keep the night air out. “Why do you doubt yourself so much? You're still here...aren't you?” She smiled, then pointed up at the sky with one hand, indicating the glowing stars, seemingly on a different track. “Do you see the stars? See how they light up the night, despite the darkness? That same light is in you. I know it. Otherwise...I think you would have succumbed to your darkness many years ago. And you probably wouldn't be here right now.” Lowering her hand, she returned it to her robe and simply looked at him, a wisdom that usually stayed hidden behind her eyes now showing through. Despite what he might say to the contrary, she would never doubt the strength of his light. Convincing him that he had nothing to fear from the darkness, however, was another matter entirely.

[Cloud]

An Endless Cycle of Pain

Having begun to zone out into deep thought, Cloud's attention was soon caught right back when he noticed Aerith placing her hand onto his. Her touch felt warm against his skin, which had grown slightly cold from the continuous blowing of the chilly night breeze. Still, more than that, he really simply appreciated the gesture, for whatever reason. Something about it was sort of... comforting. It wasn't very easy to explain. He couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed when she pulled it back, and stepped a little ways away. But he quickly suppressed the thought, as it was very silly, and Aerith had turned around and was now talking to him.

Why did Cloud doubt himself so much? He didn't really... Did he? Well-- maybe he did, but he was usually only trying to be... cautious. Wasn't it better to worry about something that might not happen, then to skip around carefree and not even stop to think about what could happen because of your actions? The fact of the matter was, his darkness was dangerous to those around him, and Aerith knew that. Wasn't he still there? "Yeah..." Even after everything, he was still there. But it hadn't been that simple. It had been a long and difficult battle that he had fighting for the past several years.Aerith had pointed up to the sky, and was now comparing him to the stars. She was trying to convince him that there must have been light within him, or else the darkness would have consumed him long ago.

"You're right... I guess the darkness hasn't won inside of me." he paused for a moment, before continuing. "But then again, the light still hasn't won either... I've been fighting for so long, and I still don't feel like I'm any better off than when I started." It wasn't like him to say so much at once, but now that he had gotten started, the words just kept spilling out. "Technically... Maybe I haven't really lost... but doesn't feel like I'm winning. And to be honest... Being part of an endless battle isn't something I want." He glanced back up at the stars, before finally saying one last thing. "I guess I'm tired of fighting a fight that I might never win. But what else can I do?" It seemed strange for Cloud to be talking about what he was feeling like that. Especially since he was so used to bottling everything up.

[Aerith]

The Glass is Half-Full. It Must Be.

Aerith listened with rapt attention, amazed by how much Cloud was actually telling her. He had always been somewhat of a tightly closed book, but there were occasions when he did crack that shell of his. Now, he was audibly expressing the lack of self-confidence she had known he constantly struggled against. Perhaps that was the root of his problem. Not the darkness within him but rather his inability to believe in himself.

He finished and looked upward once more. Though she did not have the same experiences that he did, she could understand his mental and emotional exhaustion. While trying to compose a response in her head, she glanced around the ruined market. It dawned on her that this was not the best place to be having this conversation. The vestiges of the day's battle echoed with the ghostly whispers of prophecies that darkness would grow in her friends' hearts, including Cloud's. Being here was a constant reminder of that.

Enough silence had passed between them, she decided. Moving back over to him, she took one of his hands in hers and tugged him gently to his feet. "Let's go somewhere else. Maybe the Bailey." She often retreated there to be alone, though the main draw for her--the view--was rendered nonexistent by the cover of nightfall. Still, if they went to the Bailey, they could put a little distance between them and the fears now triggered by the destruction here.

"Come on." She gave him an encouraging smile and led the way, still holding onto his hand, as though afraid of losing him if she let go. While they walked, she finally responded to his waterfall of words from earlier. "I know you're tired. But...I believe in you." She stopped for a moment to look at him. "Even if you don't always believe in yourself."

She continued walking, and they finally reached the Bailey. Here, she released his hand and moved to sit on the edge where she would normally be able to see the old castle and a good portion of the land surrounding it. For now, though, she sat with her back to the open view and faced Cloud, her hands on her knees. "I know you're afraid of hurting those around you, and I know you're afraid of never being able to fully conquer the darkness. But if you keep being so hard on yourself, if you keep being so negative all the time, it will only make matters worse." Her own concerns needed to be pushed down for the time being. Cloud needed a rock to stand on, a lifeline to hold onto, and Aerith was going to try her hardest to be that for him.

[Cloud]

Looks Pretty Empty to Me...

It seemed as if a lot of time had passed since Cloud had finished speaking, regardless of how long it had actually been. Opening up about himself wasn't something he was very used to, and the current reaction he was getting wasn't exactly what he had hoped for. With each passing second he began to feel more restless. Did Aerith not have anything to say? She probably didn't know what to say in response to his whiny little rant. He must have sounded pretty pathetic... Maybe this was why didn't like talking about his feelings... Gosh, was she ever going to say something?

Luckily, before Cloud could get himself too worried over what was likely nothing, Aerith moved over to him and grabbed one of his hands. Responding to her tugging, he stood up, nodding wordlessly to her suggestion. Following her lead, he was glad that she had at least said something, and he couldn't honestly say he didn't appreciate holding hands with her either. They passed by the Borough, as they continued to walk towards the Bailey. He heard Aerith begin talking again, and turned to find her smiling at him. Apparently she believed in him; that made one of them. Either way though, whether he had the same faith in himself or not, it still made him feel better to know at least she did. He might have said something, but without waiting for an answer, she began walking again, causing him to do the same.

When they finally reached their destination, Aerith released Cloud's hand, and sat down on top of the small stone wall of the little balcony. It was an extremely long drop to the dark depths below, and he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit nervous with her sitting there, even if the chances of her falling were slim. Listening to her talk, he sighed. He didn't mean to always come across as all negative and gloomy. That was just sort of what happened. It was the darkness's fault, not his. "Sorry..." he apologized, staring absently at the grey stone floor. "After being surrounded by darkness for so long... I'm sort of low on positivity."

[Aerith]

Five Little Words

Cloud's confession that he wasn't brimming with positivity was most certainly an understatement. Of course, Aerith didn't expect him to suddenly become a ray of sunshine and talk of rainbows to no end. That wouldn't be Cloud, anyway. She only wished he wouldn't stay mired in this metaphorical pit the darkness kept dragging him into. That was, naturally, easier said than done, and it was something that Cloud would have to accomplish himself. She couldn't do it for him. Though, she could encourage him as much as possible.

It was clear at this point, however, that her words alone were having a negligible effect on him. She recognized his body language--the way he refused to look at her for more than a few seconds, the way his head was bowed, the way his shoulders were slumped slightly. He was a breathing portrait of defeat, partial if not total. Something needed to be done, else he would continue to flounder in his own subconscious.

She rose to her feet and made her way over to him, the hem of her robe making soft, sibilant sounds across the concrete. After stopping right in front of him, she slid her arms right underneath his shoulders and around the middle of his back and drew him into a hug, which was no easy task, considering the size difference between them. Even if the gesture did absolutely nothing to comfort Cloud, she would still have decided to do it anyway. With her head nestled against his shoulder, she started to tell him that if he hadn't left all those years ago, he might not have been so surrounded by darkness. She started to tell him that if he hadn't left, he would have been in the company of friends who would have helped him. But what she chose to say to him instead was one simple sentence.

"I'll be your light, Cloud."

[Cloud]

You Don't Have To...

As Cloud continued to frown and stare depressingly at the floor, he suddenly felt a pair of hands touch him. He didn't have to look to know it was Aerith. She gently wrapped her arms around him, bringing him into a hug. Although it was a nice gesture, and even though her presence was something he always appreciated, it still wasn't nearly enough to really chance his gloomy disposition. It was seeming like all the talking about his feelings had done was make him feel even more hopeless, instead of better. Keeping everything bottled up might have been stressful, but out loud everything only seemed even more pathetically hopeless. Now that he had said it out loud, it seemed less like a nightmare and much more like an undeniable reality.

Aerith's next words really got through to Cloud, for some reason. The sentence may have been simple and short, but it held great significance. Ultimately, that was exactly what he needed. A light to shine out all of darkness. But... did he really want to accept the offer? No-- of course he did. Still, that wasn't the real question. What he needed to ask himself was: did he really want to force than kind of responsibility on her? Aside from the obvious possibility of her getting hurt, he also didn't want her wasting her time trying to fix something that was probably couldn't even be fixed. Sure, she might feel sorry for him and just want to help, but would it honestly be fair for him do to that to her?

"I..." he began his quickly trailing off. Resisting her help wasn't something Cloud wanted to do either. Something about rejecting kindness like that made him feel like he was being a jerk. Though he would be a way bigger jerk if he said nothing at all. "wouldn't want to be a burden..." It wasn't a very definite statement, but the message was still clear. He didn't want Aerith to feel like she had to do something she didn't. He wasn't her problem.

[Aerith]

The Necessity of Space

Somehow, Aerith had expected this response from Cloud. He was stubborn to a fault, and she made sure he knew it. "You're so silly sometimes." Releasing her hold on him, she leaned back to fix him with an amused glance and laughed softly. "And you must not know me very well, after all. I could never think of any of my friends as a burden, including you." Especially you. At this point, many people would have probably run out of patience with him and given up trying to be his personal therapist. But Aerith wasn't like most people, and she genuinely wanted to help Cloud through his pain.

However, she also recognized that perhaps continuing to pursue her points wasn't the best thing to do in this situation. After all, she didn't want him to feel smothered. That might cause him to run off again. So, she gave him another smile and turned to walk back over to the edge of the Bailey. "You're...never a burden to me. So, whenever you need me, I'll be here for you." Of all the people she was close to, Cloud was probably the one she feared losing the most. She wanted so desperately to help him, but unless he actively sought her help, it was probably better if she didn't press the issue. Ultimately, he had to be the one to find his own inner light.

She looked over her shoulder at him, then. "If you need some solitude in which to think, I can always return to Merlin's house. I'm probably talking you to death, aren't I?" She punctuated this with another soft laugh.

[Cloud]

Time to Think

Leaning away from Cloud, Aerith laughed, most likely at him. Apparently he was being silly, according to her. Was he? Silly definitely wasn't what he was trying to be. She insisted that she could never think of one of her friends as a burden. Which wasn't exactly a statement that came across as much of shock. Despite what she had just said, he did know her very well. Even if he had spent most of his recent years avoiding her, her kind and gentle nature was something that hadn't changed one bit since they had been children. If there was ever someone or something that needed help, she would do everything she could to give it to them. It was one of her nicest qualities... But it was also one of her biggest flaws. She just could never accept a lost cause when she saw one.

She turned around, moving to face the edge of the Bailey once more. Reiterating the fact that Cloud was not a burden, nor would he ever be, she told him that she would be ready to help him whenever he was ready to let her. After a momentary pause, she looked back over her shoulder, and suggested he returned to Merlin's house if he was tired of talking. "No..." he answered quietly to the rhetorical question she had just asked. Aerith's words were heartfelt, and he appreciated them. However, she was right about one thing. He did need some time to think by himself. There was no way he could process so much so quickly, much less make any sort of decision.

Turning around, Cloud began to walk away. Aerith seemed to have finished saying all she had to say, and was content with allowing him to head back to the Merlin's house. After only a few steps though, he stopped. Without turning around, he called back. "Thank you Aerith... For everything." Having spoken this final thought, he immediately set off walking again, leaving his friend to continue her worrying where she was. But he wouldn't really be leaving her like he had done time and time again, or any of his other friends. He was here to stay... At least for the time being. If the darkness really became a problem, no amount of insisting might be able to keep him there.

[Aerith]

No Simple Matter

When Cloud began to walk away, Aerith turned all the way around to face him. Apparently, he had decided to be the one to leave. That was all well and good, considering she claimed the Bailey as her own personal thinking spot. Just so long as he didn't leave Radiant Garden entirely, she would allow him all the room he needed. Her faith in him was not ill-placed, she knew. No matter how much he doubted his own strength of heart, she would always be there to remind him of it.

He had paused shortly after beginning his movement, and he thanked her. She wasn't sure she fully understood what "everything" was supposed to entail, but she appreciated his gratitude. That was all that Cloud had to say, not surprising given his propensity to be of few words. She watched him leave the Bailey and disappear back down into the Borough, hopefully heading back to Merlin's house to get some rest. She should be leaving to do the same very soon, as well.

A few more moments alone with her thoughts would not hurt, however. She was still, after all, enjoying the night air and the peacefulness of the world, even despite the violence it had experienced earlier. While looking up at the sky, she reminded herself that she should not look at Cloud as a project or a puzzle to be solved. He was a person with a heart. And hearts were complicated things. There would probably be no clear-cut answers in the coming days. She closed her eyes and uttered a hopeful whisper.

"Sleep well, Cloud."