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Post by Cap'n Ryu! on Oct 25, 2010 21:45:42 GMT -5
[ Not mine. But awesome. ]
My milkshake is that object of desire, that nectar, that very antithesis of Helen of Troy that attracts all of the gentlemen of the vicinity to the vast, grassy expanse that surrounds my humble dwelling.
The gentlemen proclaim: “Forsooth! It is far superior to thine!”
To which I most aptly and vehemently rebut, “Indeed! It is far superior to thine!”
I might instruct you formally concerning this matter, but I must insist that I levy a fee.
It is perfectly apparent to me that it is that for which thou yearn’st,
That which constitutes the very fibers of my character,
That which pushes males to the very brink of insanity, leaving them teetering betwixt a return to sound-mindedness and plunge into pure psychosis.
But alas! The lads do indeed suffer the loss of all conception of reality, plummeting into that nebulous abyss of utter madness,
Owing to the unique method employed in the sinuous torsions and gyrations of my torso.
I believe, if my wits serve me correctly, that the proper moment has arrived.
La la-la la la,
Moderately increase its temperature.
La la-la la la,
The chaps do yet linger, almost excessively, methinks.
(2x)
(chorus)
Unless my visual faculties deceive me, it appears that thy location has thee resting upon it.
It is your wish that I educate you
In the methodology of outlandish erotic behavior in the company of these gentlemen:
However, such instruction is not for sale!
I warn you that all burglars are inevitably apprehended by the proper authorities:
If you have any reason about you, take this caveat under strong advisement.
(2nd chorus)
(chorus)
Alas, upon entangling thyself in this sordid state of affairs,
The eyes of all the world shall turn their gaze in this general direction.
Accordingly, you must needs preserve that aura of je-ne-sais-quoi allure,
While simultaneously upholding at least the superficial appearance and manners of the seraphim:
A proper equilibrium of these two influences is required,
In addition to those attributes intrinsic to your being.
Subsequently, the male’s eyes are become askew,
And he has detected your olfactory signature. [/blockquote] |
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