Nocturne [Jericho]

[Aerith]

Wait. How Did We End Up Here? No One Knows.
--------
[Timeline Note: July 24th]

It had been about a day since they left Destiny Islands. Despite the bullet wound, Jericho had still been able to pilot the Gummi Ship without too much difficulty. Conversation had been sparse at best. Nadia was still dealing with her first experience of killing humans. Which meant most of the time, she was silently swimming through a morass of emotion inside her head.

It didn't matter how many times she told herself it had been the only thing she could have done. It didn't matter that those men were going to kill Jericho and probably have their way with her. She had killed them. And there was no escaping that fact.

There was a noise and a slight bump in their otherwise smooth flight, and suddenly, she was rolling over more sand. But this place wasn't like the one they had just left. She blinked and looked curiously around for Jericho. A lot of blackness filled her vision, though there was a strange, pale glow provided by some celestial orb in the sky. It was difficult to tell whether it was a sun or a moon. Her first instinct was moon, though.

"...Where are we?"

[Slash]

This place is weird, but I sort of like it.

Jericho woke up with his face in the sand, listening to the ocean. It'd happened once before, him waking up with no memory of what he was doing on some beach, but this wasn't Port Royal and he wasn't drunk. The last thing he remembered were some weird readings on the ship, and now...

Well, it was dark out, and there was a moon in the sky...or was that a very dim sun? Jericho had no idea. It looked a little like the beach on Destiny Islands, only far darker.

That being said, Jericho found it nice. There were certainly no people here, and he did like the dark. Here was a peaceful place, somewhere without anything that would disturb his rest.

"I don't know. It seems like we're going to be here for a while, though. Might as well get comfortable, I'm not in any condition to explore yet." That was true. Even the walk back to the ship in Destiny Islands had damn near knocked him out.

If he could get her to start talking again, he could bring up the men she had killed. Calm her down about it while at the same time diminishing the perceived severity of murder.

[Aerith]

I'll Just Try to Relax. Yeah.
--------

It turned out that Jericho was here, too. Nothing else was in sight, though. Just the two of them and a lot of sand and water enshrouded in this eerie half-light, half-darkness. There was no telling how they had gotten here, and there was also no telling how they were going to leave. But Jericho made it clear that he wasn't interested in moving for a while, so it was probably for the best that a way out of this place wasn't readily apparent.

Nadia had sat up when she had spotted Jericho, but now she lay back down in the sand. Unlike Destiny Islands, the sky here was black, with a few blacker clouds skating across it. And then there was that weird moon-that-might-be-a-sun thing. Not too much of interest to observe, but therein lay the beauty of this place.

"It's oddly peaceful here." She needed this, needed a place to clear her head. A place to breathe. "Even though we don't know where we are, it's nice." She inhaled deeply of the salty air and tried to relax.

[Slash]

Now is the time to talk.

[/center]

"Yes. It is nice." It was not complete darkness, as shown by the dim light of the moon-thing, but in no way was it complete light. Somewhere in between.

The part of him had nearly taken over when he had been shot, the spider-thing, was stirring again. However, Jericho wasn't really worried. It wasn't like last time, and he imagined that the spider was just becoming more aware due to its proximity to darkness. Still, it felt strange- like there was something moving under his skin.

How I would like to release you. I don't think it would hurt much, at least not here. Would you kill Nadia? After all, she is slowly becoming something like us.[/color]

It didn't answer. Why would it? It had no voice of its own.

"Nadia..." He approached the subject of the massacre she had caused as gently as she possibly could. "I won't judge you, and there's no one else here to hear you but the ocean. Whatever's inside you might consume you given time. You'd do well to let it out."

[Aerith]

I Know Exactly What I Did, and It Was Wrong
--------

The conversation inevitably went where she didn't want it to go. Why couldn't they talk about something else? The memory was still too fresh, still too painful. And even this place reminded her of the scene of the massacre.

But, really, what else was there to talk about?

Nadia didn't answer Jericho for several long moments. When she finally parted her lips to speak, the first words out of her mouth were not vehement denials that she was normally that violent. They were not insistent declarations that she was not a killer, that she had only taken that course of action purely out of self-defense.

"I've never felt so much hatred for another human being."

She had always believed even the vilest of people had to have some redeeming qualities. Circumstances could change people, bring out the worst in them, yes. But deep inside, everyone had some good hidden somewhere.

"And, in the moment between Elliot's death and the death of the other three, I wanted them to die. I decided that they deserved death. Then I..."

She shook her head, knowing what she had done and not needing to say it out loud. "It wasn't my place to do that. I didn't know any of them. No one person has the right to decide if someone else dies."

[Slash]

Let's see what we can do with this.

[/center]

Jericho watched as Nadia forced herself to speak, obviously pained by her confession. Thankfully, she wasn't denying her situation or insisting that it wouldn't happen again. She was straightforward. He could use that.

"But they were going to kill me and sell you. Showing mercy would have done nothing. And if you had let them survive and we had escaped, they would have killed more people, and more, and more." Knowing Elliot, he had probably been picking off anyone who got near his property. That's the impression he had got when he was attacked, anyway.

He knew what Nadia was feeling. He had felt it before, in the dark days when he had completely lost his sanity. They were blurry, but he could remember the overwhelming grief and self-disgust he felt. Nadia was not suffering that badly. If he had anything to say about it, she never would.

"Of course, I know you weren't thinking about that when you did it. But it's still the truth. Some people are beyond redemption, Nadia. I know you probably won't believe me, but it's true."

[Aerith]

Confession
--------

Was that really true? Were there really people out there who were lost forever? Perhaps. Those men had certainly been the most degenerate people she had ever seen. But that was only because life had thrust them into those circumstances. It wasn't their fault that they were the way they were.

No. She knew that wasn't true. People chose how they lived and behaved. She had to stop blaming it all on the environment. Even in the most dire of circumstances, she herself hadn't decided to rage at the world. It had been a conscious choice on her part, and she had even chosen to help out the people of Twilight Town whenever she could. People were what they made themselves. And those men had made themselves into terrible specimens of humanity.

Part of her hated to admit it. "I suppose you're right. I suppose I did do the right thing." Yet, there was another part of her that felt relief at this admission. Yes, she had killed people, but under the right circumstances, it was okay. She could even do it again if she had to.

That's what was bothering her the most.

She turned her head away from Jericho so he wouldn't see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. It was taking everything she had to hold herself together. She was stronger than this. When she spoke again, her words were timid and full of shame.

"I... enjoyed it, Jericho. For about five seconds, I enjoyed it."

[Slash]

That's good news!

Jericho didn't change his expression, but inside he was quite pleased with that. You'll learn to enjoy it a lot more with time, Nadia. Believe me.[/color]

He couldn't encourage her under any circumstances, though, as much as he wanted to. That would raise so many red flags it wouldn't even be funny.

"People change in the heat of battle, Nadia. It's like a drug. They can become more brutal, act like something they aren't, and then return to normal afterwards. So what you felt in the midst of it doesn't reflect on who you really are."

Although it will eventually.[/color]

[Aerith]

Questions, So Many Questions
--------

"I see." At least Jericho was being supportive. At least he wasn't condemning her terrible, awful actions.

Or maybe they weren't so terrible. She had saved both of their lives, right?

"I'm just afraid of what that means. I don't think killing should be enjoyable. So, why did I feel that way?"

Something about seeing that look of shock in Elliot's eyes right before he died, that look that told her the tables had turned, had given her a feeling of power she had never had before. Jericho was right. It was exactly like a drug.

But after only one taste, was she going to become addicted?

[Slash]

I have more answers than you have questions.

[/center]

"Why you felt like that? Well..." He considered the question for a moment. Actually, he pretended to consider it. He knew the answer right away, but to say that would be to reveal how many people he had killed. The answer was simple. Killing was symbolic of power over another. Showing that you have the power to take their life, that you are strong enough to bring all of their dreams and goals to a quick end.

"I guess it's because of the power killing someone gives you over a person. It is a way to display complete dominance over another's life. And power is probably the strongest drug there is."

He knew that it had planted the seed of darkness within Nadia's heart. It was his job to keep her from hating it, to show her that it should be permitted to grow. Not that she needed too much encouragement. She just needed to be put in a situation where she'd kill again. If she became depressed after that, as she was now, he'd bring her out of it again. She'd get less and less disgusted each time, until taking life was as easy as taking breath for her.

Until she could kill as easily as he could.

He could tell that a part of her wanted to. Part of her wanted to taste blood again, to feel the rush of adrenaline as her enemies fell by her hand. She'd learn to accept that part.

[Aerith]

Then Please, Tell Me
--------

Power. It did all go back to power, didn't it? It wasn't about the actual killing so much as what killing had made her feel. She had felt not simply powerful but worth something. Most of her life, she had been ignored or brushed aside. Nothing she had to say had really mattered to anyone. Her entire life had probably been mapped out the moment she had been conceived.

In killing those men, she had discovered power over others. And it was something she wanted to experience again.

"I've never had that kind power before. Never." She paused. "Is there any other way to feel that without killing?"

[Slash]

If you insist.

[/center]

Jericho was quiet for a while. Then he said, "Not really. Power like that comes at a price. Not a price paid by you- a price paid by others."

Of course, he had power over Nadia, but it wasn't exactly the same. Killing was more of an instant gratification sort of thing. Was there anything that could match it?

"I suppose it could be reached through other means. But all of them involve destroying others. Destroying their ego, destroying their mind, or destroying their body. It's a power that comes from gaining strength over others and abusing it."

Such a beautiful girl. She'd be more beautiful when she fully accepted her new bloodlust.

They had to find a way out of here if anything was to come of it, though. He laid back on the sand again, enjoying the coolness of it and the cold, salty air on his skin.

[Aerith]

I have stared into the abyss but have not leaped. Yet.
--------

Thoughts of destruction made something within her stir, a base need to inject more of the drug. She didn't necessarily have to take lives. Though, she found the idea not quite as adverse as before. It was a convenient loophole, a way to skirt the mess associated with killing while still getting a taste of power.

She didn't know if she would be very good at it, at first. But she could imagine how it would be done. Slowly cutting away pieces of a person's emotional and mental walls until the most vulnerable parts were exposed enough to completely crush--

Gasping softly, she dug her fingers into the sand as if trying to keep from falling any deeper into the abyss she had just found herself staring into. A shiver ran down her spine. No, she didn't think like that.

But her thoughts were her own, no matter what they had been. She couldn't deny it.

"Jericho... can I ask you something?" Rhetorical, but it gave her time to form the real question. She would ask, regardless.

"I believe you when you said you didn't kill your family." He knew too much. There had to be a reason. "There's no one else here but me. And the ocean." She couldn't help but smile just a little before growing serious again. "What about other people? Have you killed before?"

[Slash]

I guess there's no reason to lie about it.

[/center]

Well, she had to ask it sometime. There was no point in denying it completely- she wouldn't believe him if he said he'd never killed someone.

"I suppose you have every right to ask that," Jericho said.

"I don't remember much right after finding my family dead. I think I went completely insane. For how long, I don't know. All I know is that I did kill. I found the people who killed my family and I murdered them." He took a deep breath.

"Does that make me a monster? That's up to you to decide, I suppose."

[Aerith]

And it was all just a dream?
--------

Nadia turned her head in the sand to look at Jericho. So, he had killed before but under the excuse of insanity. Still, it counted.

"No. I don't think that makes you a monster." She looked up at the sky. "Those men took something from you. Isn't it only fair that you took something from them?"

An eye for an eye. That wasn't a foreign thought to her at all. She had lived under that law her whole life in Agrabah. If one steals an apple, one gets one's hand chopped off. Simple as that. Brutal, perhaps, but simple.

Her eyelids were growing heavy. But as soon as she closed them, they fluttered back open...

...to reveal the inside of the Gummi Ship. Confusion settled on her, and she shifted in her chair to better look around. Her body protested for a moment, having been curled in one position for so long. In the chair next to her, Jericho looked like he was just waking up, too. Panic flared up just for a moment, until she flicked her eyes to the controls. The light beneath "Autopilot" was flashing steadily.

When she returned her gaze to Jericho, he was looking at her. They shared a moment of semi-awkward silence. That dream had felt so real. He must have had the same one.

Rather than ask him about it, though, she sat up, stretched a little, and looked out the window.