Miles Away [Saïx]

[Axel]

Need some time to think.
--------

It had been perhaps three weeks since he had last been here. It seemed more like an eternity.

Everything was just as white as ever. So sterile on the surface, and yet there were deep stains of betrayal and death hidden beneath. Axel faintly recalled the countless days he had spent scouring this place in the aftermath of Marluxia's demise. A fruitless endeavor that had turned out to be. Had he stayed here any longer, going through rooms upon rooms of the same stark whiteness, he might have gone insane.

Why had he come back now?

He had come here on some false pretense, of course. There was nothing to do here, nothing that he could do, anyway. But the barren rooms aided the capacity to think. Fewer distractions.

Man, what am I gonna do?

This was the most indecisive he had been in a while. And it bugged him to no end. Maybe rejoining the Organization was a bad idea. Putting a new spin on how things ran wouldn't change anything. The system would eventually break down. Stability was tenuous at best.

There had to be some other way to get his heart back. Surely, being a part of the Organization was not necessary. The only method the Organization was using was Kingdom Hearts, but how did any of them know that was truly the way it worked? Xemnas had wanted it for power. Maybe that's all there was to it.

Sighing, he leaned against a wall and crossed his arms over his chest. What to do? Perhaps Saïx would join him. Axel had left him a somewhat cryptic message, but his former friend should have been able to figure out where to meet.

[Slash]

I'm busy. What is it?

[/center]

Saïx opened a corridor into Castle Oblivion, exhausted.

Xemnas had often forced him to stay around the castle- sometimes to give out missions, sometimes just because Xemnas wanted to monologue to another Nobody instead of a wall. Lexaeus had done no such thing, and for the first time since he joined the Organization he was given some freedom.

Of course, Saïx used this newfound freedom to work excessively. The longer and harder he worked, the closer he would come to gaining his heart. Because of this, he took on three times the workload of everyone else and tried his hardest to do it in half the time.

That being said, he had forgotten to sleep. He should really remember to do that before he passed out.

Axel had left him a rather cryptic message, and Saïx had figured- correctly, it seemed- that he wanted to meet at Castle Oblivion. All right. He could use a break provided it wasn't too long.

Saïx did his best to hide his exhaustion. No point in having Axel pretend to worry about him.

"You wanted to talk?"

[Axel]

Too busy to listen to some simple reasoning?
--------

Ah, there was Saïx. So, he had figured out the message.

Axel lifted his head at the sound of the Diviner's arrival. Blunt as always, he asked Axel what it was he wanted to say. No buildup or anything. It wasn't as though he had rehearsed this all in his head beforehand. Slipping into small-talk wouldn't do, either. Saïx would shut that down in no time flat.

Nothing for it but to jump right into the deep end. "I think it's a mistake for me to rejoin the Organization."

He let that hang in the air for a moment, then added, "But I'm not gonna leave just yet. Luxord and Demyx left prematurely. If the system works, great. If not..."

If not, he would simply leave again. He felt no attachment to the Organization, after all. The only thing stopping him from melting back into obscurity stood in front of him. If he left the Organization, he wasn't doing it without Saïx.

Pulling Saïx away from the Organization would not be easy, though. And Axel wasn't going to actively try it. But airing concerns might be a good place to start.

"Saïx... Why is the Organization even necessary at all? Don't you think we can figure out how to get our hearts back without them?"

[Slash]

No, just too tired.

So that was why. Axel was once again voicing his dissent. It was strange, the even greater disparity that had arisen between them. Saïx had never left the Organization. He was used to the grinding routine, the petty squabbles, the mindless tedium of it all. Axel had left and had subsequently become used to something completely different. Even discounting that, he had always been the type to act on his own impulses before anything else. It was incredibly tiring and often detrimental, but Saïx didn't believe he was ever going to change.

That didn't matter so much anymore. As long as Roxas never returned, which Saïx believed would be the case.

Saïx had no interest in leaving the Organization. He had no meaningful connection to it or to anyone in it, but it was more efficient than simply wandering around on one's own, even with the internal disputes.

"Eventually, perhaps. It would take too long and is too uncertain. The Organization is tiresome but pooling our efforts speeds up the process."

[Axel]

If I keep cheating death, eventually, it's going to catch up with me.
--------

Axel had not, of course, expected Saïx to agree with him. His former friend had not drunk from the well of freedom the way he had. For much of his Nobody existence, Saïx had known nothing but the Organization. And of the two of them, Axel had always been the more adventurous, even before when they had both had hearts.

"Yeah. I guess." He was careful to maintain a neutral tone. "As long as we get our hearts back, right?"

Time to drop that subject. Pressing the issue now would make the rift between them wider, not smaller. Saïx was not easily moved, Nobody or otherwise. And Axel didn't want to lose that connection again. If it meant staying with the Organization, then that was what he would do.

"There's gonna be a fight tomorrow. A big one." He looked at Saïx more directly. "Xemnas was a joke, but this Champion guy... I think he's for real. He did destroy Radiant Garden. Even more than it already was."

Turning his head to the side, he was silent for a long moment. Then he said, "I don't want to die again. But it might happen."

[Slash]

Can't say I'm looking forward to that fight.

[/center]

Axel had dropped the subject. That was better for both of them. The topic would lead nowhere and it was best completely discarded.

Instead, he brought up the upcoming fight with the Champion. It was not new to him that the Champion was powerful- considering the amount of Keyblade wielders he had killed and the attack on Radiant Garden, it would be surprising if he didn't possess a vast amount of strength.

Axel was concerned about the possibility of his death. Saïx hadn't really considered the possibility of either of them dying- it could happen, but he wasn't going to dwell on possibilities when there were things to be done.

It was true, though, that Axel was in danger of death. They all were.

"It might. And it might not. Everyone could die. Or no one could." His voice showed not the slightest change at the mention of each possibility.

"Ruminating on such things is pointless. You can do everything possible to keep yourself from death when the time arises, but unless you use such thoughts to figure out how to prepare, it's just a waste of time and energy."

[Axel]

This will probably bounce right off you, but...
--------

Of course. Why expect sentimental conversation from a brick wall--er, from Saïx? The logic was far too cold for Axel's tastes. Then again, a lot of things were too cold for his tastes.

"Always the blunt one, aren't you?" Axel smirked but quickly resumed a more neutral expression. No point, was there? Showing fake emotion certainly wouldn't get a reaction from Saïx.

Why did he keep trying, then? Vain hope, that's all it was. Even if he were to express his desire to be friends as they once were--or as close to it as possible--the Diviner would have none of it. Empty shells lacked the capacity for friendship, no matter how strong the memories might be. That's what Saïx would say and probably sprinkle lovely adjectives like "pointless," "fruitless," and "distracting" in there, too.

"Sora will be there. Or so I hear."

He almost regretted bringing this up. But it was too late now. Besides, this had to do with battle strategy. Right? Now that he had said it, though, he wasn't sure where to go with it.

"...So, we're supposed to protect him."

The last time Axel had protected Sora, he had ended up killing himself to do so. If it came down to it, would he do that again? He wasn't so sure anymore. Sure, Roxas was a part of Sora, but Axel really didn't want to die without his heart again.

[Slash]

That's nice.

[/center]

So they would be protecting Sora. Saïx felt nothing one way or the other about that. So Roxas was a part of him. And? Roxas wasn't coming back. And even if he did at this point, who cared? Xemnas was dead and Roxas wasn't going to join the Organization. Axel might leavethe Organization again, though.

Three words surfaced from the coldest recess of his mind- that didn't matter.

That didn't matter. Why should it? He could search for his heart without his former friend. He would be alone in the Organization, but he didn't care one way or the other. As long as the pot wasn't stirred again, there wouldn't be a disturbance so great that his life would be in danger.

Still...

Still, it was preferable that Axel stay in the Organization.

"We will. But to what extent?" he asked.

Will you die again to protect some remnant of a false friend? I have so far believed that you overcame your weakness. Perhaps I was wrong.[/color]

[Axel]

I just realized this could be completely unnecessary.
--------

The question, so simple on the surface, was weighted with so many hidden implications. Axel knew what Saïx was asking. Was sacrificial suicide tucked into a corner of his mind or not? If Sora was in a situation that could only result in his death, would Axel step in yet again to keep that from happening?

"Any of the Keybladers are important to the Organization, aren't they? Without them, we have no Kingdom Hearts."

He suddenly remembered what Origas had told him in Deep Jungle. Kingdom Hearts was not the answer they sought. Were the Keybladers all that necessary, then? If not...

There's no reason for us to be involved in this, is there? But I can't tell that to Saïx. He won't believe me. I'd have to get my heart back by some means outside Kingdom Hearts to prove it to him.

Pushing those thoughts back for now, Axel picked up his previous verbal thought and glanced at Saïx. "But... those Keybladers won't do us any good if we're dead."

[Slash]

There are other Keybladers besides Sora.

[/center]

"No. Our lives take a greater priority." He stated this with great certainty as if it was an undeniable fact- which it was, at least to him.

"Keeping the Keybladers safe is important, but there are many and there will be more, given time." Saïx had never been a supporter of the idea of self-sacrifice as a Nobody. That was the definition of pathetic- pretending like you cared about anyone else and carrying your delusion to the death.

Nobodies did not care about others. They could pretend, but deep down every action was either completely selfish or pitifully delusional.

"The Champion kills them off. Kill the Champion, and the problem is over no matter how many Keybladers died in the battle."

[Axel]

Orders are overrated. So are suggestions.
--------

Axel didn't respond for a long while as he retreated inside himself to think. He probably would not sacrifice himself to save Sora again. No, he would not. There was no reason to from a logical standpoint. Besides, any sentiment behind it would be false. Saving Sora's life at the cost of his own would be nothing except selfish.

What if he had to protect Saïx? Hah. That was laughable. For one, the Diviner would never accept his help. It would be seen as a sign of weakness. For another...

Selfish. Completely selfish. I don't want him to die because of anything he may or may not be. No, I don't want him to die because if he does, I lose the closest thing I have to a friend. But if I die in the process, it's all pointless anyway.

"Yeah. That's the most important thing. So, we should disregard any directives to protect the Keybladers and focus entirely on taking the Champion out?" He couldn't help himself and smirked.

Orders were meant to be bent and outright disobeyed if necessary.

[Slash]

We must take the better option, regardless of orders.

[/center]

Saïx nodded coldly. "It is the best option." He had given it some consideration, and it was the most preferable course of action. Although he didn't like throwing everything at an enemy that no one could judge the power of. Better to find a few Keybladers and manipulate them onto the Organization's side, keeping them safe while the Champion wasted its time with others.

Of course, this would never become an option in the eyes of the Organization.

"The best options are always the ones that go against the orders of the Organization. Perhaps that means something," he said in a distant, thoughtful voice, then dropped it completely. No use in concerning himself with that right now.

"It would be best if we were to prepare. The battle is soon." The risky, probably avoidable battle that had come about mostly because of Zexion.

[Axel]

If that's everything...
--------

"I don't think the Champion could care less about us. If what Zexion said is true, he's more interested in killing Keybladers and only Keybladers. I'd think he'd be more focused on them, leaving us free to strike while he isn't paying attention."

In a way, that was using the Keybladers as bait, yes. But it would be an unintentional use, after all, if the Champion was as hellbent on erasing them as Axel had heard. The Organization wouldn't be pushing them straight into the Champion's path, after all. If one or two were lost, it wouldn't matter so long as their common enemy ended up dead.

"And yeah, we should get ready. Tomorrow's not waiting on us." A Corridor blossomed a little to his right. "See you at the Graveyard in a little while, then." He gave Saïx a parting glance, then left.