Exile [Nadia/Open]

[Aerith]

Be honest.
--------

The invitation to ask her questions came just as Nadia had decided she would leave, so she paused. All manner of questions flew to the surface of her mind, but there was one that rose higher than the rest.

She moved in front of him and crouched down to eye-level. "Alright. Answer me this, then." While she took a deep breath, her gaze remained steady. "Was any of it...real? Anything at all?"

Expecting the worst possible answer, she waited, like a cat coiled and ready for the slightest provocation.

[Slash]

...

[/center]

To his credit, Jericho did consider the question. He did try to find the truth.

But whatever truth there was had been lost. In fact, he'd gotten rid of it before he could decipher it. It was something he was better off not knowing either way- if he had loved her, his personality had been twisted farther than his pride would allow him to admit. And if he hadn't loved her, then knowing that wouldn't be beneficial since it would add the strain of lying about it constantly.

"I don't know. I can't remember what I felt during most of it. The darkness took some memory away when it left."

And it's better that way. For me, and probably for you.

"For what it's worth, I remember caring about you in the beginning."

And he had as one would a small child or a particularly loyal pet.

[Aerith]

...
--------

"Yes, I'm sure you did." She couldn't quite keep all the sarcasm out of her voice, despite her best efforts.

She almost regretted it, but part of her was convinced that she was justified. The best he could come up with were excuses of not remembering. Her ability could have helped fix that, but it mattered little. Since he knew that as well as she did, the excuse was probably code for "No, none of it was real." At least in her mind, it meant that.

Finally, she broke eye contact and looked off to the side. She remained, however, in the same position. "And what about now?"

[Slash]

I regret my previous offer.

[/center]

Jericho made the decision to lie about things with such a touchy subject henceforth- her sarcasm annoyed him greatly, and he might end up saying something he regretted if he got too annoyed.

Now I wish you'd shut up and stop acting like you deserve better. After all, you chose to cling to a monster. I abandoned you, and you followed me like a dog looking for its master.[/color]

Yes, his old personality had come together quite nicely. Nadia had actually managed to serve as a catalyst rather than a hindrance. He was almost completely back together, and it was nice to be back.

Of course, Nadia wouldn't think it so.

"Now? I can't feel anything of that sort now. There's a void where the darkness left. Maybe it'll heal, maybe it won't. Does that answer your question?"

Jericho noticed a peculiar bitterness to his tone, something that had been lost in the sea of dumb malice when he had taken his role of emissary.

"Allow me to soothe your troubled mind a little. If I had been faking it while I was under the control of the darkness, I would have killed you. I get bored with things easily. It's a terrible vice. I take people, break them, and throw them away. If I had broken you before leaving, you wouldn't have been able to function. In fact, you might have killed yourself right there."

He'd actually seen it happen once or twice.

"I can't offer you anything better than that for comfort. But I'll add something you should know. The more questions you ask right now, the more miserable you'll be. It's up to you whether you want to trade any type of happiness you'll feel later for knowledge that'll burn inside of your mind for the rest of your life."

[Aerith]

...!
--------

The moment he stopped talking, Nadia slapped him across the face.

She hesitated.

Then, she did it again. And again. Over and over until her hand was numb to the stinging.

This wasn't out of surprise, no. But feelings that she had managed to keep buried under a painfully thin veneer were breaking free. Frustration and anger at him, yes, but also at herself chewed at her. Impulse was taking over, and the darkness was latching onto it.

No words came. Her rage went too deep. Besides, she knew he would talk enough for the both of them when given the chance. He liked the sound of his own voice so much. Probably the only thing he really liked.

Nadia. I want to kill him. And so do you.

I can't. What if I do? Then I have nothing.

You have nothing right now. Let me kill him. You won't even have to touch him.

At last, she relented in her assault on his face. There was something else she wanted to do, something else she had to do. She lunged for his mind and connected it to her memories, every single one since she had met him, every stray thought, every emotion, every action. She forced him to look at it all.

"You might not remember anything, but I do. I remember."

Her body was shaking.

Azrael waited in a corner of her mind.

[Nadia used Perception.
Posts until next use: 3
Uses remaining: 2]

[Slash]

Ha.

[/center]

Jericho paused as the flurry of memories connected to his mind. What did she expect them to do to him? Perhaps it was meant to make him break down. It didn't.

He had felt the very last piece of himself fall into place as she hit him. Now he knew what he felt for her. It was the same thing he felt for everyone else, amplified tenfold.

Bile rose up in the back of his throat, and his hatred gave him strength. This wasn't what he had felt before, no. As an emissary, he had just felt blinding waves of fury- now the storm inside of him was cold and endlessly bitter.

He laughed as it ate away at his insides. He laughed hard, then stood up..

"You're more pathetic than I thought," he spat angrily. "I haven't seen anything more pitiful than that little display. Looks like you'll be too much of a burden on me after all. Back in the beginning? Well, you did as you were told and you were easy to manipulate, so hey, I didn't mind you. I gave you strength when you were weak, I gave you purpose when you had none, and for a while I gave you happiness. Gratitude? What's that?"

Before she could react- and probably try to kill him- his Keyblade appeared in his hand. That was one part of being the emissary that he would probably always carry with him. After all, the darkness would be looking to reclaim him someday, and the scars from last time ran deep.

He slammed the blade into the ground, and instantly a strange haze rose up. He could see, but that was something unique to him- it was a strangely opaque mist, and every sound was distorted heavily.

"Here, I'll give you freedom. Take it. Take every last bit and choke on it with that chimaera born out of my darkness."

He disappeared into a Corridor. That was another thing he had left to do, and he'd have to take it on a leap of faith that he could withstand traveling them sparingly.

He'd see her again, he knew that much. She'd either be trying to kill him or she'd be broken enough to not be able to.

Either way, he'd be ready.

[Jericho used Blinding Haze.
2 posts left.]

[Aerith]

Please don't go.
--------

He was attacking her. Any second now, she expected to feel a ripping through her torso and see the end of his Keyblade in the middle of her chest. It didn't come. She would have welcomed it. Instead, all she heard were noises, like the pounding of monsters that matched the beat of her heart.

A dull throbbing started in her chest, which she desperately tried to numb. All her efforts were in vain. She had been shaking before, but now it intensified. Her eyes were beginning to moisten.

"I'm s-- Sor-- Sorry..." she stammered in a whisper to the mist.

No. No, she wasn't sorry. She had wanted to kill him. But now... The panic was setting in full force. She hated herself for it.

"I just want... Just want..."

She screamed.

She curled her body over and screamed again.

Her fingers dug into the ground so hard that they started to bleed. She didn't care. Pain was quickly giving way to emptiness. She couldn't be more empty even if she threw herself off the cliff right now.

Nadia--

Quickly, she shut herself off from Azrael, isolating this part of herself in her own, tiny space. For a while--she didn't know how long--she floated in the solitude. There was only her in her own head. It was nice, in a way. Nice...in an ignorant way.

For a moment, the pain was gone, and there was nothing but darkness. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, losing her heart. The pain would forever leave with it. She was worthless, anyway. Worthless and stupid. Stupid for loving someone like him.

Why couldn't she stop thinking about him? The more she thought, the more she sobbed. The vicious cycle of fury and regret and panic and more fury kept turning in her head. All the while, she spiraled deeper and deeper into self-loathing.

She lay down on her side, not bothering to move outside of the mist. Her fingers brushed blindly over the ground, and she could feel the indentation his Keyblade had left. A fresh wave of tears came, and they eventually carried her into the oblivion of sleep.

[Nothingness]

Isn't this familiar

It was well into the night by this time, and Clive had snuck off in Katherine's ship for the moment, just seeing where a random warp-jump would take him. If his luck held, Katherine would still be asleep and he'd have her ship back in Agrabah before the evening's end and she'd be none the wiser. However, judging by where he ended up, Clive may as well have still been in Agrabah.

Endless desert and wasteland. If it wasn't for the abundance of massive rock formations then he could very well have confused it for the desert outside the city. Regardless, the sky was just as clear as it was in Agrabah. The stars gave off more than enough light for him to see where he was going, and would make sure he wouldn't lose sight of the ship.

After walking for what felt like an hour, he came upon a steep cliff that overlooked even more of the wasteland. He glanced around, just barely catching the shadowy form of a person in the corner of his eye. Clive walked slowly towards it, not out of caution but just so he wouldn't wake them. He couldn't imagine what a person would be doing sleeping in such harsh terrain.

As he knelt down, his eyes widened in surprise: it was Nadia. Tilting his head so he could look at her face, he saw that her eyes were red and puffy, hand still dug into the ground. "What happened to you?" He mumbled under his breath.

[Aerith]

You came ba-- ...Oh.
--------

Nadia had no idea how long she had been asleep. It could have been days. Not that her sleep was particularly restful.

She was still hovering on the boundary between consciousness and unconsciousness when the sound of footsteps made her eyes snap open. Was he back? He had changed his mind already. He hadn't really meant--

Clive.

She had turned over and now found herself staring up at a face she hadn't seen since Radiant Garden. Not the face she wanted to see at all.

Quickly, she sat up and scooted a little away from him. Even if she had possessed the energy to attack him, she no longer had the will. Her eyes went to the ground next to her.

"What are you doing here? Nothing happened. I'm fine."

[Nothingness]

Don't look so pleased to see me

As Nadia woke up and moved away, Clive stood up and walked back over to the edge of the cliff. Letting both of his legs dangle limply over the edge, he turned and spoke to Nadia. "I'm not doing anything in particular. The ship just took me here."

Despite having stopped caring so much about what Jericho did, he couldn't help but be curious about why Nadia was here, and Jericho wasn't. To be fair, she did only say that nothing happened. And her suddenly defensive nature struck him as odd. "May I ask what brings you here?" Clive asked innocently enough.

[Aerith]

Fine. I won't.
--------

Despite her best efforts, Nadia was having trouble coming up with a convincing lie. And she was far too exhausted physically and emotionally to bother much.

"I... I came here, looking for him. He had disappeared without telling me where he was going or why. I finally found him here. Right here."

She pulled her knees close to her chest and closed her eyes. "I got angry. I hit him. I was so angry. And then he left."

She stopped there, loathe to go into details.

[Nothingness]

What were you expecting?

Clive nodded his head, simply replying, "It's a lonely road to walk, isn't it?"

He wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be surprised that Nadia seemed to expect her and Jericho's ending to be a happy one for them. They had walked down a path of corruption that would, undoubtedly, have ended in their own demise. It was such a petty ending--to destroy all until one's self is destroyed as well.

"But if Jericho left her," he thought, "That has he regained some piece of himself?" It was almost inconceivable for him to imagine Jericho being reformed in anyway.

[Aerith]

Maybe I'm going crazy.
--------

"You were wrong about him," she said softly without looking at Clive. "He never cared about me. At least...no more than was necessary to keep from getting bored. And I..."

She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I never cared about any power. Not really. Not deep down. I liked being important to someone." She paused. "Or...maybe I really do think like that and want nothing more than to kill and destroy. I don't know anymore."

After running her fingers through her hair, she looked up at Clive. "I wish I hadn't hit him. ...No. No, I don't wish that." She looked off into the distance and laughed, a strange sound that didn't compliment her emotions in the slightest. She couldn't help it and persisted for a few minutes before she finally confessed, "It felt so good."

[Nothingness]

I can sympathize

Clive remained silent while she spoke, and only did so once her fit of laughing had stopped. "You only wanted to belong somewhere, and it didn't matter where you did." He looked directly at her and asked, "Am I wrong?"

[Aerith]

Yeah. Definitely going crazy.
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Nadia nodded and buried her chin deeper into her knees. The panic was gnawing at the back of her mind, and the more she talked, the worse it became.

"I've never belonged anywhere. And I thought that I'd finally found somewhere. But I guess I still don't belong anywhere. He's gone. And I hate myself because I wish he wasn't."

She rubbed at her eyes, then looked up at him. "I love him, Clive. I love Jericho." She laughed again. "Stupid, isn't it? Hearing myself say it, after what just happened, after hearing the things he said... I must be either desperate or insane. Or both."